Midlife

I am writing this in response to a young friend of mine who asked for my thoughts on the subject of mid-life crisis. To begin with, it is only a crisis if it comes unexpected but can be a rewarding experience if it is properly understood. The basis for this mid-life transition starts before birth with the understanding that each person gets half of their chromosomes from their mother and half from their father. Psychologist Carl Jung brought this to my attention when he spoke of the anima and animus. These are Latin terms he used to describe the masculine and feminine side of each person. He chose those words so people would not confuse masculine with male and feminine with female. This is critical to grasping Jung’s concepts of masculine and feminine characteristics. These are traits that are more common in one gender verses the other but they are by no means limited to that gender. It merely means that if you interviewed a large number of people you would find that one trait is more characteristic to one gender. Some examples are competitive vs co-operative, aggressive vs assertive and analytical vs intuitive. This does not mean that there are no aggressive women but that it is more generally found among males. If we are born with equal numbers of chromosomes then, in the case of the male, what happens to the feminine traits? A baby does not realize that he is an individual until about the age of one or so. Up to that time he thinks he is part of his mother. When he begins to realize that he is different he starts the long journey of differentiating himself which continues until mid-life. At a very young age he understands that he is not like his mother but is in fact more like his father. This is reinforced daily by other family members and other relatives. He is treated like a male, dressed like a male and expected to act like a male. This reinforcement continues with neighbors, teachers, coaches and other members of society with whom he comes into contact. During the first half of life his masculine side grows in maturity while his feminine side remains underdeveloped and at mid-life it is time for him to reconnect with the inner feminine and become the whole person he was meant to be. It is this process of reconnecting that opens the door to a whole new world for the man who is ready to look inward and welcome his other half into his life. She brings with her a glorious new world filled with adventure and surprise. Nature in her wisdom, brings about a reduction in testosterone at this very time which aids in the transition. For the man who is ready for this change the world takes on a more profound meaning and rewards him with a greater understanding of human nature. It is a time of emotional and spiritual growth and makes the second half of life the best half.